Black and White

It
began
as a game
She made it a game
We got out the board
One day she got bored
We played together
She played
with me
Move, counter move, grinning
Move, counter move, encroaching
Black and white
enfolded like hands
Black and white
entrenched like
cancer
Yin and yang
Truth and lie
Check Check
Inevitably Perpetually
Mate. Stalemate.

And in this love-tug of war-game
Debauch and hopscotch
With an ant’s tenacity
I carried our flag:
Walking forward, slow and steady
Programmed with just a simple mission-
To reach the end of the line in tact.

So much depends-
A pawn
But nothing defends-
A pawn
And in the end-
Your pawn
Will reach the last square, where-
upon
It shall be plucked out of thin air-
Anon-
In exchange for the queen you lost before-
In this messy, slip-shod love-tug of war.

Lady, I’ve seen what you’ll do for your queen.
And it’s not so black and white.
But you can afford to put her back on the board
In an attempt to make things right.

What befalls your soldier now that you sold her
In exchange for royalty?
Will you miss your pawn now that she’s gone
And rue your disloyalty?

When you’re tempted to blame at the end of the game-
Your pawn will already be gone.

The sign reads: stay off the path while grass is growing.

I want to walk in the middle of that potential
And sink my roots down into the rising green
And join you in nourishing
stillness.

Another Time

She passed through the door and suddenly knew
Something clicked with the latch-
A thought, so calm, so sure
If one pill could make her happy
Then twenty could bring-
A release from eternal suffering.

And if one pill made her sleep
Then twenty would surely keep-
The darkness upon her forever.

Swallow them down. All of them.

At what point in this conversation
Do I stop chewing?

Let on that this dinner is different from the rest
The wine is fine, but she’s not eating

From the end of a long hallway, I see
Down the path she did not take
Toward the phone call she did not make.

The ambulance does not arrive
And she, this time,
Is no longer alive.

I stop chewing.
And try to swallow it down. All of it.

Two calamari rings
Stare up from her plate
Wondering

She moves the lemon wedge to form
A smiley face
Don’t worry, be happy

She woke the next morning and thought only-
I have failed myself yet again.